In 1988, Robert Bierman made a film, written by Joseph Minion, which would eventually see a new light in the internet era. The film has been used to make a number of memes, most of them obsolete at this point, but the film itself is funnier, crazier, and more entertaining than any number of recontextualized image templates. The film is Vampire's Kiss, starring a young Nicholas Cage who acts with such insane, impassioned, ludicrous bravado that he steals the spotlight in every scene he's in...which is nearly all of them. Nicholas Cage is well known for his deranged acting style, especially in his younger years, but Vampire's Kiss is his masterwork.

The film follows Cage as Peter Loew, a publishing executive who is bitten by a vampire. Slowly, really slowly, he's transformed into a vampire himself, and his mental acuity drastically deteriorates into hopeless, hilarious paranoia. Concurrently, Loew mentally abuses his secretary Alva, giving her the unfortunate task of finding a contract deeply buried in the file graveyard of his office.

Vampire's Kiss was ripped apart when first released, though it's not quite as bad as the reviews would have you believe. Even disregarding Cage's performance, for a moment, the film is an odd duck, tonally messy and mostly purposeless, with low stakes and little energy. Still, the sheer oddity of its premise and the bizarre juxtaposition between publishing drama and monster mash (side note: I just realized how eerily similar this film is to 1994's Wolf) is enough to sustain moderate, temporary interest. It would have been a rather limp, lifeless film, it wasn't for one of the greatest screen performances ever recorded.

Nicholas Cage is phenomenal in Vampire's Kiss. He is consistently, breathtakingly, shrewdly hilarious, and the best part is it's impossible to figure out if the film was ever supposed to be a comedy. The film itself is already atonal, not really a light, airy comedy but not really a contemplative or tense creature flick either. Vampire's Kiss doesn't know what it wants to be, but Cage knows exactly what he wants to be, which is an obnoxious, crazy-eyed, explosive, irrationally chaotic jerk, sporting an impossibly artificial accent through the entirety of the film. He is the sole focus of the camera in every scene he's in, both before and after the bite.

The greatest quality of the performance is Cage's spontaneity and conviction. He's not constantly full-throttle crazy; he's measured, even reserved at times, playing up the calm before the storm in order to seamlessly accentuate his random bursts of looniness. Peter's own mental degradation sometimes helps too. The character is inherently delirious, paranoid and hopeless in equal measure. Cage amplifies these emotions, making what Peter feels at any given point perfectly clear.

When he needs to cry, Cage doesn't actually cry; he shrilly proclaims "boo hoo! Boo hoo!" out to the world. When Peter first believes he's a vampire, Cage doesn't whisper the exclamation to passersby on the street or mumble to himself - he runs through the street shouting ad nauseum to the entire block. Again, the film doesn't seem designed to be a comedy - Cage's mannerisms are totally at odds with the mostly just bland atmosphere and dramatic events around him. It's baffling to watch one performer singlehandedly (singlehandedly) transform the film he's in. It's astounding.

Everyone else plays it straight. Elizabeth Ashley as Peter's psychiatrist, Jennifer Beals as the vampire, and Maria Conchita Alonso as Alva the secretary are all properly attuned to the film's wavelength. They're convincing and demonstrate the desired qualities. Ashley is professional, Beals is seductive and a bit campy, and Alonso is vulnerable and legitimately sympathetic. Every other element is the same; the cinematography, soundtrack, and editing all suggest a film of reasonable dignity, and the direction is simple and direct. Even the script is serviceable, if nothing special. Vampire's Kiss would be a decent to decently boring/bland film without Cage. With him, it's an engaging, surprising laugh riot, which only patters out near the end, in an extendedly dull sequence.

Vampire's Kiss is worth a watch. It's truly remarkable to witness the power one performance can have on a film, and it's difficult to think of a more quintessential example of this principle than Cage's presence in this film. To see an unremarkable, atonal, and rather bland film be transformed into a truly memorable, often hilarious one, is an experience worth sharing with a few friends. Vampire's Kiss is prime "bad/weird movie night" material, nearly comparable to The Room and Japanese horror gem House. If any of your friends love strange films, hammy performances, weird bugged-eyed hijinks, enraged alphabet recitations, or Nicholas Cage, check out Vampire's Kiss today.

There has never quite been a film like Vampire's Kiss, and there has not even been an imitator since. It is an absurd, hilarious semi- spoof of all things horror, whilst also being a surreal and powerful delve into the damaged psych of horrid human being. I honestly feel I need to break this down in pieces.

The elephant in the room is Nick Cage. His performance is excellent, but takes getting used to. He is hilariously over the top, moving like Max Schrek on Caffine pills. He talks in a petulant and whiny 'vaguely British' voice, also leading to some really goofy line readings. However despite this camp factor, there is depth here. Cage is also believable here, he stays perfectly true to the character throughout and forms a unique identity that can only be found here. It reminds me of Christian Bale in 'American Psycho', which is fitting as Bale based his performance off this film. One aspect I will bring up often here is thee film's re-watch value, suffice to say that Cage's performance changes and shifts upon numerous viewings.

Next is the direction. It showcases some great shots of New York, almost making it feel alive. The cinematography highlights the striking architecture and uneven lighting of the city, almost showing it to be a real life translation of classic horror settings. However it also shows the clinical detachment of such a large city, and the Yuppie culture that has grown from it. The other performances match this films dual nature also, taking classic horror roles at times, and being typical Yuppie's at others.

Night and Day, Gothic and Modern, Deep and Funny, Dark and Light. This film performs an entirely unique juggling act that has never been matched since. Both a homage to classic horror tales, and a deconstruction of the 80's Yuppie lifestyle.

Nicholas Cage is a terrific actor, and I have enjoyed his work in all the movies I've seen him in. That said, he does an outstanding job holding one's attention throughout this movie.

Nonetheless, this isn't a great movie. It goes in a few too many directions for it to remain coherent. It offends too many senses for it to be a good a comedy, and provides too few scares as a horror film.

One highlight, as others have mentioned, is with the fake vampire teeth. But the best part to that bit was the fact that he had to settle for the CHEAP teeth, because he didn't have $20 for the good ones! That really made me laugh!

My rating: 6