Plot

Two female vampires in modern-day New York City are faced with daunting romantic possibilities.

Cast

Alicia Silverstone and Kristen Ritter lead while Sigourney Weaver, Wallace Shawn, Malcolm McDowell and Dan Stevens support.

Verdict

I'd not heard of this at all which I was surprised about considering the cast. Did it bomb? It truly came out of nowhere for me and yes truly unconditionally isn't exactly my genre. For all intent and purpose this is Clueless, with vampires.

Camping it up to 11 Silverstone and Ritter are saved to a degree by a surprisingly decent supporting cast but doesn't take away from what it is and that's pure nonsense.

It tries to be a comedy but it's just not funny, later in the film it tries to be deep but rushes it badly and by this point with the dramatic tone shift I just couldn't find it in myself to care.

Not a bad film, just a fruitless silly one.

Rants

Am I the only one weirded out when Malcolm McDowell doesn't play a bad guy, I mean yes he was Vlad the Impaler here but he was presented as a good guy, a nice guy despite this unlikely fact. He's a bad guy, he looks positively evil and has been typecast ever since. Whenever he's a good guy it makes me uncomfortable, like I'm being gaslit and any second he's going to do something positively ghastly.

Breakdown

Solid cast Just not funny Attempts at being deep and emotional fail hard.

This movie took me a long time to finish. I started it one night and the plot just kind of dragged a long while you waited for something to happen. I waited and waited for the problem that was going to be solved at the end of the movie happen but it never did. So I turned it off. I ended up finishing the last 40 minutes last night. And I was intrigued. Sigourney Weaver's role made the movie better because she was the problem. And the best part was the ending. Oh, the ending. I was sobbing at the end, maybe it's because of hormones or menstruation, but watching her remember NYC through the years really hit hard. If you love NYC and cheesy movies, this one is perfect.